By Ericka Alston-Buck
Tis’ the season for many to begin setting New Year Resolutions and proclaiming all of the changes that they plan to make in 2023.
Lots of single people like myself, will be more open to the possibility of being in committed relationships. Then there are those that will challenge themselves to jump into the dating pool for the first time in what may feel like forever and to those, starting to date can be terrifying.
Where do you start? How do you meet people? Where do single people go?
Just know that you must get off the sofa and you’ve got to take off the pre-covid leggings and pajama pants because no tall, dark & handsome gentleman is going to simply fall from the sky, through your ceiling, no matter how long & hard you may be praying! and, if he did fall through your ceiling would you want him to see you like, THAT?
Come on ladies! If we stay ready, we won’t have to get ready. If you’re considering dating, create new routines for yourself that may include getting dressed, doing your hair, adding a little makeup, perfume and an open mind.
The person searching for you may be at the grocery store, in line at the bank or standing near when you grab your coffee, be in the mindset that any day, may be the day that you meet him.
We live in a work from home, online banking and instacart world, chances are you may not be out and about as much as you were before the pandemic. Our new normal includes the internet more now than ever, so consider spicing up and prettying up your Facebook & IG pages, for opportunities for someone to “slide into your DMs” – post new pictures, show new angles, use social media as a platform to highlight your highs and downplay your flaws and insecurities, we all have them, just not out on full display. Consider Facebook Dating, it’s a thing!
Have you ever considered dating online and have no idea where to begin? Do you have a thing about or are you afraid of meeting strangers from the internet? Don’t know how to write a profile, detailing the very best parts of you?
Here are some Do’s and Don’t of Writing Your Online Dating Profile:
- DO Write your profile when you’re having a good day and in a great mood.
- DON’T sexualize yourself or write in a way that positions you for only a good time.
- DO use photos that show ALL of you, full body, not just headshots or selfies.
- DON’T write in your profile what you DON’T like, don’t be the angry single woman, write about your good qualities, your interests, the things you like to do, places, you’d like to visit, the type of person you desire. No one wants to read a list of complaints.
- DON’T post pictures with your children or pets, no matter how cute you think you are, these pictures are commonly swiped LEFT.
- DON’T Tell white lies, if you tell the truth, you never have to remember what to say on the first conversation or first date. Be honest. (but not too honest)
- Finally, DO be ready to date mentally, emotionally and with a mindset and the time needed to invest in meeting new people.
I just recently returned to online dating and updated my profile following my own rules and in just under a week I have more than 200 messages and nearly 1,000 likes.
My new profile says:
Committed more than ever to meeting my PERSON!
I’m an empty nester that’s FINALLY as free as a bird.
I’m only attracted to strong, confident, even a bit arrogant ALPHA males that allow me to fully bask in my feminine energy.
Not looking for anyone to pay my bills or to take care of me, I do a pretty good job of taking care of myself, thus the bar is set…high.
You must be able to hold multifaceted conversations and challenge me mentally.
I absolutely can not be the smartest person in the room, when you and I are alone.
Be flexible with your time, with the ability to GET AWAY, spontaneously.
Have the ability to lighten up, laugh at yourself and don’t take yourself too seriously, life is short!
You’ve found me!
As a result of my new profile…
I’ve chatted with a few online.
I’ve graduated from online to telephone calls with three.
I’m headed to dinner on Monday, with one.
I’ll tell you all about it, next week! Here’s to a New Year, New You…New Boo.
Dating Rating. Capital Grille Baltimore 5 out of 5
This week, I had an amazing 1st date that will absolutely be a 2nd, he sent a link to Baltimore’s Capital Grille on a Tuesday. He could not have orchestrated a more perfect experience.
From James the GM meeting and greeting us at the door and the white glove service provided tableside by Joshua, Capital Grille was an absolute win.
Cocktails: Mexican 75, I requested that they add a maraschino cherry, Joshua brought out a separate glass that had the cherries soaking in champagne.
Appetizers: Calamari
Sides: Salad, Roasted Mushrooms & Lobster Mac & Cheese
Entrees: Lamb Chops for me, Chilean Sea Bass for the gentlemen
Ambiance: Lighting was dim enough to be romantic and bright enough to read the menus, perfect.
Service: Perfection
Ability to Have a Conversation: We learned so much about each other over dinner and connected in a way that only the perfect setting could provide. We were sat at a corner table that provided both the privacy & intimacy needed for a great 1st date that will absolutely lead to a second.
The dated ended with a special kiss on my forehead, I’m a sucker for a tall dude kissing me on my forehead, then we texted all night like 16-year old’s. May the best man win!
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