‘We Were Always Together … We Were in Love And Making Plans For Our Future’

BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times

JANICE & VILGIL VANCE

Live: Helena

Married: Sept. 30, 1978

Met: In 1964, at Zion Lutheran School in Bessemer, Vilgil recalls meeting Janice in kindergarten saying he had a crush on her way back then. “I used to like looking at her long ponytails,” Vilgil laughed. However, Janice remembers their first meeting in their neighborhood on the north side of Bessemer while hanging with her cousin.

“[Alfred and I] started liking each other at age 13, Vilgil was best friends with my cousin, Alfred Moore” Janice said.

“When [Alfred and I] would hang out, and Janice would be around, I could tell she was interested because she would walk to the [neighborhood store] every day, looking cute dressed in her halter-top, and she did that because she had to pass my house on the way to the store,” Vilgil remembered.

“And then when my parents moved us [to the Burstall neighborhood in Bessemer] they gave me and my siblings a little going away party and I called to invite Vilgil to the party and he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said ‘yes’,” Janice said, “and we’ve been together ever since. And when we first [became boyfriend and girlfriend] I could not have company, so we used to meet up under the tree at my neighbor’s house every week. We were among friends and my siblings, but we used to sit out there and have a good time.”

As time went on, the pair got older, and once they turned 16, Janice could start “receiving male company.”

First date: November 1975, at Janice’s family home in Bessemer. She had just turned 16 and could now date Vilgil openly.

“Back in the day, Wednesday and Sunday nights, used to be date night… that was when we could receive company, and knowing Vilgil was coming to see me was the highlight of my week,” Janice said. “And the first time he came over I remember picking out my outfit a whole week before, I had my hair laid and was smelling good. And [my parents] let us ‘sofa-sit’ in the living room and he had to leave by 9 p.m., but as time went on he could stay later.”

“I remember being a little nervous about coming there and ringing that doorbell,” Vilgil laughed. “But her parents were nice and welcoming, they made me feel alright.”

The turn: At age 16, they said. “We were really in love, we would talk about our future… but I knew before then that I wanted Vilgil to be my husband,” Janice said.

“I knew before we started dating that Janice was the one. And once we could be together we were always together,” Vilgil said. “Like she said, we were in love and making plans for our future.”

Janet and Vilgil Vance met in 1964 at Zion Lutheran School in Bessemer. The couple had their first date in 1975, and married in 1978. (Provided)

The proposal: June 1978. Vigil proposed over the phone while away at basic training at the Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas.

“I knew I was getting ready to be stationed in Columbus, Ohio, and I wanted her to come with me, so I asked her over the phone, did she want to come to Ohio with me as my wife, and she said ‘yes’,” said Vilgil.

“I said ‘Sure’. I was in my first semester of college at Birmingham Southern and I dropped everything to be with him because I knew he was my husband. It was everything we always talked about, it was time,” Janice said.

The wedding: On the front porch of Janice’s parent’s home in Bessemer, officiated by Reverend William H. Walker, of Mount Hebron Baptist Church, in Bessemer. Their colors were yellow and green.

Most memorable for the bride was “when I actually saw him in his white tux, it was surreal… I was just a teenager and I was actually getting married,” Janice said. “I was thinking about how I was about to leave my mama and daddy, and my siblings and go to a whole new place with my sweetheart and start the life we always talked about.”

Most memorable for the groom was a moment during the ceremony. “When the pastor asked ‘who gives this woman to be wed’, her daddy said ‘I Do’ so loud, and I took that as him trusting me with his first daughter. We had a good relationship, and he looked at me like a son,” Vilgil said.

The couple honeymooned for three nights at the Ramada Inn in Bessemer before getting on the road to head to his station in Ohio.

Words of wisdom: “Keep God as the foundation. Always communicate and continue to date consistently. With God being first as the foundation, you’re able to overcome all the obstacles in marriage and weather the different seasons that marriage presents. Communication is the key because if you do not talk your marriage will be based on assumption, you’ll always be assuming what the other is thinking. And dating is so essential because it gives you that one-on-one time with each other to get away from the distractions and the noise. You can travel, or create space for whatever the two of you need at the moment,” Janice said.

Said Vilgil, “We were asked this [words of wisdom] while we were in Costa Rica in September celebrating our 46th wedding anniversary, and somebody asked us what was the key to 46 years and we both said the same thing (see above). So, I agree with everything she said.

Happily ever after: Janice attends New Life Church of God Birmingham, and Vilgil attends Isreal of God in Birmingham. They have two adult children, Brian and La’Miracle Vance, and five grandchildren.

Janice, 64, is a Bessemer native and Jess Lanier High School grad. She attended Massey Draughon Business College in Montgomery, Ala., where she earned a business certification. Janice retired from the US Bankruptcy Court in Montgomery after 30 years and is also a certified marriage coach, and content creator with a podcast and YouTube channel titled “Women Majoring in Their Marriage.”

Vilgil, 65, is a Bessemer native, and Holy Family High School grad. He served in the US Air Force for 6 years and worked for the Air Force as a civilian for more than 30 years as a program manager. Vilgil is now a retired Air Force contractor, and he and Janice relocated to Helena in May 2023 to be closer to their family.

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

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