I had a relative tell me recently, “You worry too much about them.” She was referring to some people I’d talked about many times before this latest conversation. And the underlying message I took? Stop talking and move on with your life.
How many times do we process — by way of talking it out — what people have done or said that offended, hurt or embarrassed us in some way?
The only issue is that the storyline starts to become dull because even though your name and good intentions are being misconstrued, the other blasphemous party continues to play their same, predictable role down. In other words, they’re doing what they’ve always done. They’re behaving just as you would expect them to do. And since they’re behaving true to their roles, why are we always so consumed with their latest actions?
They are playing their character according to script and when they won’t change, the onus then comes upon, guess who? That’s right — you and me.
Now, please understand I am not downplaying the hurt, shame and disappointment that comes with their inconsiderate nature. But knowing their role play consistency can now become your superpower. You know it’s likely they will say the inconsiderate and unimaginable. You can expect them to do the unthinkable. Then when it actually happens, you’re not wounded each time anew.
You simply understand their lack of consideration, maturity or emotional intelligence won’t allow them to respond in ways that uplift. And, although it’s an unpopular thought, have you ever considered this theory? Some people will actually help to sharpen us through their hurtful actions. Circumstances dictate that we work and collaborate with those we like, love and loathe. It’s part of the social circle of life. And it’s also a part of our maturation process.
I’m not saying this is something you have to like, but once you accept that some have no desire to “play nice” with you, it equips you to understand how to respond before the next offense. And that knowledge, my friend, is not just half, but actually the whole battle that you have delivered to you beforehand. So are you ready for your new perspective on winning in this arena in 2025?
Victory doesn’t always lie in what you do; sometimes, it’s more evident in what you don’t do. Process the hurts, slights and insults. Then move forward.
As always, know I’m cheering for you with this lesson that we’ll all take over and over again until we hopefully get it right.
Keisa Sharpe is a life coach, author and speaker. Her column appears each month online and in The Birmingham Times. You can contact Keisa at keisasharpe@yahoo.com and visit www.allsheanaturals.com for natural hair and body products.
