By Nijiama Smalls
The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds
I was meeting with the two IT guys who help me keep my virtual space intact when one of them began to share his mental health journey. The meeting then turned into a healing session. Both of these Black men shared that they have suffered from panic attacks and experienced bouts of anger. The stress of putting on a facade regarding their feelings and emotions began to have an impact on their mental health.
Black men have not always had the space to share their feelings. Not only has it been frowned upon, but it has been weaponized. Let me keep it 100 and say that I have done this myself. I have proudly boasted about the fact that my husband was emotionless. I put his ability to compartmentalize on a pedestal as if it made him superior to men who showed their emotions. I referred to men who did show emotions by demeaning names (sissy, weak, b@#$%made). I was a toxic hot mess. Then, my husband began to suffer from panic attacks.
I realize that I had been conditioned to believe that, in essence, a man who stuffs his emotions is the picture of masculinity. Truth is, the behavior I was celebrating is harmful.
Suffering in silence leads to stress and depression which are linked to hypertension and heart disease. Our attitude towards Black men sharing emotions is literally killing them.
Moreover, instead of healing, many men learn to mask their internal pain by hiding behind anger and they learn to cope with their trauma by grasping onto vices such as sexual addiction. Womanizing is a behavior embraced by men who are attempting to drown unhealed emotional wounds or to gain a sense of self-worth.
We can all be the change for the men in our lives by encouraging our fathers, brothers, husbands, and colleagues to take the journey to heal. Let’s celebrate when they turn to therapy and display and share their emotions (in a healthy way).
This article was originally published by The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds. For more on this topic, read The Black Family’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds. Brother circles will be coming soon.
The post Self-care for Black men facing anxiety and anger appeared first on AFRO American Newspapers.
