‘I Wasn’t Shy About Kissing My Bride, She Was [My Wife] and I Went For It’

BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times

BERNICE & JOE COOPER

Live: Pine Ridge [Oxmoor area]

Married: Feb. 11, 1961

Met: November 1959, at Bernice’s family home in Birmingham in the Airport Hills neighborhood. Her uncle, who was close in age to her, lived with their family and worked with Joe for a cleaning service. Bernice and Joe met one Saturday evening when he gave her uncle a ride home from work.

“I spoke to Bernice and she smiled and we chatted for a while and that’s the way it got started,” recalled Joe.

“He was dark and handsome and when he came in the house behind my uncle I thought he was a nice-looking guy. I was 19, and I wasn’t looking for a husband because I was raised that he [her future husband] had to find me,” said Bernice.

“I asked her if I could call her and she said ‘yes’, and I called her the next day. I remember going to see her once or twice at her house to sofa sit because I had to gain her mother and father’s confidence; I wanted them to know what kind of man I was before I asked to take her out,” Joe said.

First date: December 1959. They hung out at Bernice’s girlfriend’s home in the Brookside area. “There were other people there, it was a get-together, my sister and my uncle were there too… I was just happy to be out and alone with Joe,” she said.

“I remember having a nice conversation. We were still getting to know one another. I didn’t try to pressure her in any kind of way, I wanted to make sure she understood I was a good human being… My father and older brothers taught me to treat my girlfriend the way I would want my sister to be treated and that’s what I did,” he said.

The turn: Late January 1960, Joe and Bernice realized they had “the real thing.”

“I asked Bernice to be my girlfriend after the first or second date, but we grew closer with each day that passed and got more comfortable with one another,” he said. “And as our confidence in each other grew, that’s when we realized we had the real thing with one another.”

“We talked every day and I used to wait for him to call because we were getting closer and understanding each other better. And I realized I was falling in love with him after Christmas [1959] had passed,” she said.

The proposal: November 1960, at Bernice’s home in Birmingham in the Airport Hills neighborhood. This was the night they were going to tell Bernice’s parents that they had agreed to marry.

A few weeks prior, “we were sitting on the sofa and I asked her if she would marry me and she said ‘yes’. And we kept it to ourselves for a couple of weeks and kept discussing it, and then one night right before Thanksgiving, we decided to tell her parents,” Joe recalled. “I told her father that I would like to speak with him and Mrs. Jackson for a minute and I told him my plan and asked him did they have any objection to me marrying her, and neither of them objected,” Joe said.

“I knew they would agree because they respected my opinion, so it went just fine. They agreed wholeheartedly. I was the oldest of seven, and they were happy to give my hand in marriage,” Bernice said.

Bernice and Joe Cooper met at her home in Birmingham in 1959. The couple married in 1961. (Provided Photos)

The wedding: At Bernice’s family home in Birmingham. Her father built an arch, dressed it with flowers and greenery, and made the flower bouquet she walked down the aisle with. Their colors were red, white, and black, and the ceremony was officiated by the Rev. Bowens, of Pleasant View Missionary Baptist Church.

Most memorable for the bride “was when it was over,” Bernice laughed. “It was very stressful and nerve-wracking getting everything ready because it was mainly me and my father getting [preparing everything]. And when they said ‘you shall now cleave unto your wife and they shall be one flesh’, I was happy that it was over and that we were married,” Bernice said.

Most memorable for the groom “was when the preacher said, ‘you are now husband and wife.’ When he told me that I was happy. I wasn’t shy about kissing my bride, she was mine and I went for it,” Joe laughed.

Words of wisdom: “Don’t live with anybody, it’s best to leave father and mother and establish your own home and cleave to one another. Keep Christ in the center of your home and continue your courtship. Remember that God joined you together, pray together always, and never retire for the night angry with each other,” Bernice said. “Agree that divorce is not the answer. Remember that criticism is nagging and that destroys love, so try not to criticize so much. Love is something you have to work on daily. You should be reasonable in money matters, and be determined to speak softly and kindly.”

“What helped me along in my marriage is my upbringing. I come from a good home, and my mother and father taught me [life principles], and told me to listen to their advice because one day I would have a family of my own and would be able to make good godly decisions,” Joe said. “My mother used to talk with me about how I should treat my wife and those were regular conversations. I respected my mother and father so much, and that’s why I respect my wife so much and as I grew older; I always remembered [my parents] advice.”

Happily ever after: The Coopers attend Liberty Faith Christian Church in Bessemer, where Joe serves as an Elder, and Bernice is a Mother of the Church. They have three adult daughters: Robin Cooper, Yolanda Pearson, and Josette Cooper, two grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.

Bernice, 84, is a Birmingham native, and Hooper City High School grad. She attended Lawson State Community College, where she earned an associate’s degree in office management. She worked for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama for more than 25 years before retiring in 1999 and spends her retirement side by side with her husband.

Joe, 84, a Union Springs, Alabama, native, attended Merritt High School, and worked at Merita Bread Bakery for 33 years before retiring in 2002. He spends his retirement “trying to please my wife,” he laughed.

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

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