‘He Asked Me to Marry Him … Put the Ring on [My Finger] and We Just Cried’

BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times

RODERICK AND VANESSA BESTER

Live: Forestdale

Married: Aug. 18, 2001

Met: On a Sunday evening in February 2000, over the phone. They were introduced by Vanessa’s cousin Kim, who is a close friend of Roderick’s family.

Kim was visiting Roderick and his family “when she called to see if I was home,” Vanessa recalled. “She was staying with me at time and Roderick, being the big mouth that he is, hollered out ‘Who is that, who you talking to?’ and I said, ‘Who is he?’, and then he hopped on the phone.”

Vanessa gave Roderick sass, and he liked it. The two conversed until she got another incoming call. “…Vanessa said she would call me back, but I didn’t wait for her to call. I called her 30 minutes later and asked her if I could come over and watch a movie,” Roderick said.

Despite Roderick being a stranger, Vanessa said yes because of his close relationship with her cousin, Kim. “When I went over to watch the movie, Vanessa’s daughters Chanter’a and Yunitka (5 and 7 at the time) came in and asked [their mom] for a kiss goodnight and [seeing that interaction] just melted my heart and made me fall in love with them,” Roderick said.

Two days later, Roderick made a move that would make Vanessa fall in love with him.

“It was a Tuesday, and I was working as a manager at McDonald’s and he called the store phone for me. I told him I was having a real hard day because I had some call-ins, and I couldn’t talk…,” said Vanessa. “An hour later some roses and a card showed up at my job, and it said, ‘I hope this makes your day better’ and that’s when I knew he was different, ‘I said this man is for me’ and he called me later and we set up our first date.”

First date: That Saturday, they went to see a movie at Wildwood Movie Theater on Lakeshore Dr. They can’t remember what they saw but do remember going to dinner at O’Charley’s afterward.

“I felt so good with him. When he picked me up and I came out the door he told me how good l looked and I had butterflies the entire date. It was so genuine and he always knew just what to say,” Vanessa said.

“I was just catering to her needs… it was new, you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression and I wanted to show her who I was and I’ve been doing it ever since,” Roderick said.

The turn: May 2000, after church at Pleasant Grove Baptist Church and a visit to his grandmother’s home in Fairfield for dinner.

“I had just gotten my five-year service award pendant for being on my job at Acipco and that was something I normally would’ve given my grandmother, but I gave it to Vanessa and she wore it to church that day and my grandmother spotted it around her neck at dinner,” Roderick said. “And Grandma asked why Vanessa had it on, and I said, ‘Because Grandma, she’s who I want to be with,’ and that made it official,” Roderick said. “I was raised by my grandmother, and nobody was good enough for me to her, but she accepted Vanessa.”

“For me, it was the love that he’d shown me and my girls in that short period of time. I was happy and felt like I found my person. And at the dinner at his grandmother’s house that day, I heard his mother tell his grandmother that I was the one for him,” Vanessa recalled.

The proposal: July 2000, at Vanessa’s apartment on Birmingham’s west side, during a family karaoke night. All of their closest family and friends were in there.

“When it was my turn I came out wearing a white dress and heels, singing Jagged Edge’s ‘Let’s Get Married’…. [after my performance], I asked her if she would marry me but I couldn’t get down on one knee because I was in that dress and heels,’ Roderick laughed. “But she said ‘yes’.”

“He sang the whole song and did a dance, I was tickled and emotional at the same time,” Vanessa laughed. “When he asked me to marry him, I said ‘yes’, and he put the ring on me and we just cried. And my daughters [Chanter’a, 5, Yunitka 7 at the time] came up behind us and we just hugged and cried as a family.”

Roderick and Vanessa Bester met over the phone in 2000 after being introduced by her cousin. They married in 2001. (Provided Photos)

The wedding: At First Baptist Church Kingston, officiated by Reverend T.N. Miller. Their colors were lavender and silver.

Most memorable for the bride was a moment she shared with her uncle before walking down the aisle. “My uncle gave me away, and after everybody went in, he pulled my veil over my face, and he said, ‘Baby girl, you’re going in as an ‘Enge’ [her maiden name], and you’re coming out as a married woman, and he kissed me on my cheek,” Vanessa said. “Oh, and at the reception when his Grandma Louise said ‘I done paid thousands and thousands of dollars for this wedding…’ I heard her say it to her close friends who were at the wedding, and I couldn’t do nothing but laugh, that was grandma,” Vanessa said.

Most memorable for the groom was tending to his new wife’s needs while heading to their reception at the clubhouse at the Ski Lodge lll Apartment complex in Homewood. “Vanessa was hungry, and me being who I am, I’m always going to make sure she gets what she needs, so we stopped by McDonald’s in the Heritage shopping center on Green Springs in our wedding clothes and got her something to eat,” Roderick laughed.

“I hadn’t eaten all day, I had butterflies ever since I opened my eyes that morning and the hunger hit me hard after the wedding,” Vanessa said.

They honeymooned a few weeks after the wedding in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and stayed in the cabins.

Words of wisdom: “Love and trust your partner and keep God in the midst and not your family,” Vanessa said. “And never go to bed angry.”

“Trust God, love each other, and please, whatever you do, always communicate,” Roderick said. “Whether you’re mad or you’re happy, let them know. You can go around being mad because you were assuming something all because y’all hadn’t talked. And always choose your battles because everything ain’t worth a fight.”

Happily ever after: The Besters attend First Baptist Church in Fairfield and are a blended family: Chanter’a, 31, Yunitka, 29, Roderick Jr., 29, an adopted niece, Julissa, 18, and 3 grandchildren.

Vanessa, 54, is a Chicago, Illinois native who relocated to Birmingham, her mother’s native city, in 1990. Vanessa owns a cleaning company called ‘Spotless By V LLC’, where she offers residential cleaning in Jefferson and Shelby Counties.

Roderick, 49, is a Fairfield native and Fairfield High School grad. He attended Bessemer State Tech, where he earned an associate’s degree in graphic communications. He works as an electrical supervisor at Acipco and owns Bester Electrical Services LLC, serving Jefferson and Shelby County.

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

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